As we conclude our March series on Managing Up, I encourage you to review the previous three post that discuss understanding why managing up is important , what factors to consider and how to actively manage up . In this final post, we will discuss how to create long-term success with your supervisor and what to do if you have exhausted all of your options.
Creating Long-Term Success
Tip No. 1: Discuss Early and Often
It is so much easier to navigate issues earlier rather than later. The longer you wait, the more entrenched and complex things can get. Discussing your relationship early on will typically make the conversation go easier than waiting until a prolonged historical pattern has developed. Once you have opened the dialogue, make sure you check in regularly on how things are going. Depending on your relationship with your supervisor, meeting regularly could mean weekly, monthly, quarterly or annually. Go ahead and put those check-in meetings on the calendar before you need them, so they do not get lost in the shuffle.
Tip No. 2: With a New Boss, Start Right Away
Start your relationship off with a new supervisor by initiating a conversation about each other’s work styles and preferences. Discussing how you want to communicate and support each other will not only set yourself up to have a good relationship with your supervisor, but they may even be impressed that you brought it up right away, creating a foundation of confidence and trust.
Tip No. 3: Consider Timing
While the above tips are important, timing is everything. Having conversations early and often only work if the timing is appropriate. Rushing into a conversation when neither you or your supervisor are prepared or ready to have a conversation has just as much potential to cause harm than good. Consider going back to Managing up: Being Active [LW1] to make sure you are setting up the conversation to be productive.
Exhausted All of Your Options?
Tip No. 1: Ask for Help
If you feel you have done what you can and the relationship still isn’t working for you, ask for help. Be cautious about who you go to for help. If you seek out a co-worker or colleague in your team or organization, this may be considered gossiping, which could only make things worse and create the perception that you are causing or a part of the problem. Consider seeking support from a former colleague or mentor, or from a family member or friend outside of work. You may also want to seek other resources that your organization might provide. At UC Merced, the Office of the Ombuds and the Conflict Resolution Coaching Program are confidential and private resources for you to explore openly and safely how to move forward without putting yourself at risk for workplace gossip.
Tip No. 2: Focus on What You Can Control
It can be a helpful strategy to focus on your actions, responses, communications and stress management techniques. We all have been in situations where we feel we are making all the effort and don’t feel the other party is sharing ownership. You cannot control their actions and responses, so continue to focus on what you can do to stay productive and professional. Don’t give anyone reason to suspect that you are a part of the problem. Perhaps one day you will be a supervisor and this relationship can be a good crash course on what you will do differently.
Tip No. 3: What are Your Alternatives?
Many supervisory relationships cause stress in the workplace. Only you can examine if you need to find another working arrangement or position as it relates to your life, career and health. We have all heard the cliché that people leave their bosses, not their jobs . If you feel you have exhausted all of your options and need to find a more supportive working relationship, make sure you do so respectfully and safely for you, your supervisor and your organization.
DO give proper notice. Most people would agree that 2-4 weeks is appropriate notice, but your situation might be different. DON’T burn your bridges on your way out. You will likely need a reference from your supervisor, so continue to respond productively and professionally. Finally, DON’T talk negatively about your previous boss in your new position; this is a surefire way to get your new relationship off to a rocky start.
Series Conclusion
Hopefully after reading this series you have a bit more familiarity with the importance and the how of managing up. We all need to find our responsibility for making our working relationships work for us. If you want to discuss your specific working relationship and how you can find ways to improve it with a private resource, feel free to schedule a time for us to chat.
One final, yet very important, note on this series. For those of you in supervisory positions, I encourage you to re-read this series from the lens of managing down, as all of these ideas and strategies are relevant from the supervisor’s perspective as well!
Luke Wiesner is the UC Merced Conflict Resolution Coach , a private resource for staff members who are interested in having a partner to support workplace challenges or conflicts. This service is voluntary, and you can partner with the coach by yourself or with fellow university employees.
