From the Playbook: Have you ever been in a conversation that gets so escalated, you lose focus on the purpose of the conversation? Perhaps you even forget what started the escalation and struggle to move in a productive direction. If you find yourself in a challenging conversation this week and need to get unstuck, try this three-step process to help reset the conversation.
Step 1 – Summarize: Take a deep breath and summarize the situation as neutrally as possible. Make sure you include the following: what seems important to the other person; an acknowledgment that the conversation doesn’t seem to be working for either party; and your intention to reset and try communicating differently.
Step 2 – Commit to understanding: Ask if you could restart by taking time to really hear what the other person has to say. Give them uninterrupted time to share their perspective. Listen actively and repeat back what you are hearing to give them a chance to add or clarify.
Step 3 – Focus on common ground: As you start to re-engage in the conversation, focus on and express shared values, intentions, ideas or any other commonality. At the very least, you can probably sayyou both have been frustrated by the conversation so far and want to figure out how to move forward in a different way. Expressing your common ground helps bridge the perceived gaps in the conversation and creates an avenue to move forward together.
These three steps aren’t going to solve your conflict or challenge, but it can help you reset the conversation to move through the conflict or challenge with a bit more ease and collaboration.
