Have you ever had a friend, colleague or family member walk into the other room while you were sharing about a challenge, a concern or even an exciting opportunity and that person yells back, “I’m still listening”? Or perhaps someone starts texting or emailing while you are talking as they tell you to keep going? How does that feel? Do you feel important? Do you want to continue to share with them? To be fair, we all do this from time to time, but that doesn’t mean it feels good when it happens to us. On the other hand, when someone listens to us with depth of presence and interest, we feel more connected and at ease with that person. We feel validated.
Coach’s Challenge: Everyone has something to say. Even silence communicates something to others. Hearing is something that happens to us, while listening is something we actively participate in. We are always going to hear, but are we listening? My challenge to you is to intentionally find one or two people in your orbit and really listen to what they have to say. This includes the underlying subtext. Here are three things to try when listening actively:
Be present: Put down your phone and give them your full attention.
Reflect back their emotions: “It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed by work today.”
Be curious: “What was it like to have that experience?” OR “Tell me more about _____.”
We are always practicing something. How might the quality of our relationships, working moments and lives change if we intentionally choose to practice listening to others throughout our day
